TUNA N’ WAFFLES, LIME CHEESE SALAD and six other classic recipes that prove just how quickly popular tastes can change.

In the days before 12 Tomatoes and Cooks Illustrated, food marketers developed recipes for audiences with… somewhat less sophisticated tastes.

1. JELL-O LIME CHEESE SALAD

It’s another crowd-pleasing hit from the people who turned horse hoofs into cheap and tasty desserts! JELL-O’s LIME CHEESE SALAD appeals to those looking to combine the major food groups of gelatin, dairy, protein, citrus and sugar into one delectable delight.

2. SPAM Sticks!

In this regrettable campaign, the makers of SPAM canned meat byproduct urge consumers to try a new snack just as tasty as “your family’s favorite” fish fingers. Just grab the fleshy mess of canned meat, gouge out a few shapes that approximate fingers, and finish the mess in a frying pan of margarine! Voila! A tasty and healthy afternoon treat perfect for serving to visitors or family members that you do not like.

3. Hellman Mayo’s Cranberry Candle Salad

In a lede that begs the follow up “Who would’ve thought that a condiment company would finally merge the utility of a flammable illumination device with the refreshing crisp delights of a fruit salad?”, Hellman’s mayo opens the ad for their Cranberry Candle Salad by asking “Who would’ve thought that a salad so impressive would be so easy to make?”, a rhetorical question asked by precisely no one, ever. From this opening gambit, the mayonnaise giant then proceeds to breathlessly describe a dish that offers a bit of everything: berries, room temperature mayo, candle wax and fire. With recipes like this one, it’s no wonder that Hellman’s soon changed their name to Best Foods (West of the Rockies). In the food marketing world, not every recipe works out, and sometimes you just need a little distance.

4. Dip your pears in room-temp Miracle Whip!

Enough said.

5. Cottage Cheese Omelette

In a self-serving effort to entice customers to buy and consume MOR COTTAGE CHEESE, Sealtest Kitchens presents this doozy of an ad for a Cottage Cheese Omelette. The advertisement entices the reader with a picture that shows a garbage disposal full of chalky and curdy items disgorging off the side of an oval plate. Upon closer inspection, if your stomach can take it, one can see that the food matter is arrayed in a manner that roughly approximates an omelette… an omelette that the Devil might offer you at his little diner on the far side of the River Styx.

6. Canned chicken: like fresh chicken without the taste, shape, or dietary value

The horror of the image really speaks for itself.

7. Hearty Meals Love Raisins (but people don’t)

Hearty meals may love raisins, but it turns out that people don’t. Cheeseburgers have made it along just fine without raisins, and it’s likely to stay that way.

8. Tuna N’ Waffles

In an ad that makes one wonder if the fine people at Cambpell’s use ravenous coyotes and/or carrion-eating vultures for recipe taste-testers, this iconic piece of marketing entices the hungry reader to ruin a perfectly-good waffle with BOTH a can of Cream of Mushroom soup AND a salty chunk of of canned fish. Later, it was discovered that syrup, butter, Nutella and even chicken are far more complimentary to waffles than creamy soups or processed fishes. And the world has been a better tasting (and smelling) place ever since.

Click NEXT PAGE for our favorite vintage desserts!

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